Why We Keep Showing Up For Remakes

I've been reading countless movie critics over the past few years, begging Hollywood to stop producing remakes. Whether it's live action remakes, alternate universes, origin stories, prequels, sequels or any mixture of the above, that brings original cartoons to live action film, people are protesting that enough is enough. Yet, they still show up to watch them. Disney has become the biggest target for such scrutiny for essentially coming out with a lineup of old movies all redone as live action remakes. I believe they started with 101 Dalmatians and now more recently with Mulan, with a number of movies in between, including a villain POV remake of Sleeping Beauty with Maleficent, with classics like the Little Mermaid on deck. Some made a splash (Lion King), others were forgotten (Pete's Dragon).

What's Next?

I haven't seen them all to provide an accurate criticism of each, but the few I have seen I have to say I've enjoyed them. Just to add context, I should disclose that watching them on someones else's Disney+ account barely counts as putting in any effort to watch them. I'm not waiting in line, not paying for a ticket, not paying a monthly subscription just to relive my childhood nostalgia ... again! First time I did that was when I was introduced to the wickedly felonious wonder of downloading torrents. Don't tell 5-0.

They're repackaging decades old material and selling it to us as new. Most viewers feel cheated, even insulted, yet Disney keeps cashing in obscene checks with every refurbished product they put out. And I think I know why.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite cartoons to watch was the Ninja Turtles. Loved the cartoons, the toys, the video games ... I even had a set of sheets for my green and white twin bed. Most of my "creative drawing" assignments were scenes I tried to recreate, while I was watching the cartoon on TV while I did my homework, perks of having both parents who worked late. I loved the Ninja Turtles, enough to give Michael Bay a chance and watched both of his latest remakes.

This worked

When I was 5, the first movie I remember watching in a movie theater was the Ninja Turtles live action remake in 1990. My best friend's dad at the time (we had the same name, that was the criteria for best friend status back then) took the both of us and I was blown away. It answered my 5-year-old hypothetical "what if they existed in real life?" 

Let's face it, that movie was a huge success for young boys in the early nineties. There was an entire generation that got an answer to a question asked many times, whether consciously or not, and the answer exceeded our expectations. I know, this is anecdotal and probably only applies to boys born in the early to mid 80s, I'm not even sure we represent a large consumer group for buying movie tickets, or copies of the movies. I'll confess, the last Blu-ray I bought was Iron Man 2, and I'm not even sure it was me who bought it, it just kinda showed up on my movie shelf, under a 4-inch-layer of dust most likely. I did zero research on this topic, I'm simply going with my gut on this, trust me, I think I'm on to something.

Despite our logic telling us we're being cheated out of our entertainment budget to see the same movies, despite acknowledging that our nostalgia won't allow us to enjoy the new ones over the remakes, despite the innumerable live action iterations that have sucked, buried deep in our emotional memory vault, we will always wonder what it would be like if our favorite cartoons were real. Hollywood is onto something, they understand how our emotional subconscious works. They know that no matter how good or mediocre their live action remakes turn out, we will continue to show up and watch them, because we want to see our childhood cartoons played out in live action. Our inner child wants answers, and as long as Hollywood continues to attempt to answer them, we will sit and listen ... or watch actually ... while paying them. Don't be surprised if a Jetsons live action remake is in the works, and for some reason, I'm going to really want to watch that.