Thank You, Here's a Cheap Gold Watch!

Portugal missed a golden chance to win a world cup
with this midfield maestro

When cops retire, they get a cheap gold watch for all their years of service. Or at least, that's what movies want us to believe. It's not exactly the 'thank you' they deserve after their years of sacrifice, hard work and dedication (not talking about traffic cops, obviously).

"Wow, this shirt still fits me"

But this article is not about cops. It's about men who really make a difference. Men who inspire us to be better people. Men who suffer day in and day out, killing each other so many different battlefields this planet has to offer. I'm talking about our heroes in shorts and cleats. Soccer Players!

"Don't drop me, I just got these nails done"

The icons of different generations have honored grass all over the world with their presence. They have created, destroyed, inspired and tormented fans from all ages, all races and all nationalities. Players like Luis Figo, applauded by the world as he retired from international football in a world cup semi-final clash against legendary Zidane's France. Players like Ronaldo, who retired wearing the verde-amarela in a friendly in Sao Paulo after an emotional ceremony televised worldwide. David Beckham who retired after one last stint at Paris St. Germain, helping the Paris club win their first title
in 19 years.

But tragically, some of the best players that have stepped on the pitch and created nothing short of a miracle were not honored in the same way. And here I honor those who truly excelled, but exited quietly out the back door.

5. Michael Ballack

"Tell us Michael, what's it like to be a good player?"

The iconic German and Matt Damon's brunette stunt double, was a symbol internationally. He was Bayern and Germany for many years, helping Bayer Leverkusen, Bayern Munich and Chelsea win titles as well as reaching the semi-finals for Germany at the World Cup '06 and the finals at Euro '08. He suffered a season ending injury in 2010 right before the world cup, which allowed Thomas Muller to replace Ballack as the iconic "13" and his side was firing on all cylinders that year with a youth and speed infested national side that seemed to be thinking that entire time "Ballack who?" In a cold German fashion, Joachim Low, Germany's coach, pretty much told Ballack that his previous game with Germany was his "farewell". They offered him 2 friendlies to play in, which he refused, leaving him with 98 caps for his country. And then he was sitting next to Alexis Lalas, providing commentary for ESPN, which is like stepping off a limousine, in a puddle, in NYC rain to walk the rest of the way to your studio apartment that you share with 3 other dudes.

4. Owen Hargreaves

"... and when the referee is not watching, I can grab the
ball with my hands"

Probably the best player to come out of Canada, played for Bayern Munich and more notoriously for Manchester United. Had a lot of injuries and was dropped from th
e United bench only to find himself club less. He posted youtube videos, that's right, showing how in shape he was, which attracted a team that was pretty much buying anybody that had a recognizable name, Manchester City. He's not really retired, but ...


3. Zinedine Zidane

"... and he didn't even looked at me"

Golden Ball winner, a reference truly for anybody who has ever kicked a ball. He carried France to their first ever (and probably only) world cup in '98. The man had it all; heading, dribble, tactical awareness, powerful shot, free kick specialist, penalty specialist, passing, speed. A true renaissance man in the world of football. He humiliated some of the world best at the world's best stage. He made star-studded Brazil his bitch on so many occasions and was only one controlled moment of rage away from winning a second world cup in what would've been the most amazing retirement finale in sports history. After his head butt incident he was suspended from future international matches, which was redundant since he had announced he was retiring after the world cup. And that's that.

2. Fabio Cannavaro

"El Cannavaro, El Capitano"

Besides Zidane's head butt, Cannavaro was the icon of the 2006 world cup. Captain of one of the most inspiring sides in Calcio, Cannavaro was the anchor for a team that scored with a different player in each occasion during their 7 games that lead up to lifting the world cup for a fourth time. He announced and took back his retirement almost immediately and returned to play international football once more in the disgraceful Italian side of 2010. Cannavaro was a ghost, playing out of position, allowing sides like Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia to score on Gigi Buffon, leaving Italy out of the world cup without a single victory, and meeting France just as embarrassingly on the airport terminal on their way home without registering a single victory. He was playing for Emirate club Al-Ahli and then called it quits.

1. Roberto Carlos

"I thought you were marking him!"

One of my absolute favorite players, who was always labeled as the best offensive left back of all times. He had 3 lungs, adamantium skeleton, wolverine-like self-healing powers, a charming smile and a bionic left leg. As far as I can remember, Roberto Carlos, doesn't know what it's like to sit on a team bench. I don't even think he's ever been injured. Played 2 world cup finals. Scored goals impossible to replicate even on Playstation. Has won the champions league, la liga, world cup, copa america, confederations cup, FIFA world player of the  year, campeonato brasileiro, intercontinental cup. His exit from the world stage was a misfortunate moment of laziness. During their quarter final match against an inspired France, Roberto Carlos simply "forgot" to mark a french player during a routine free kick. That routine free kick was taken by Zidane, and the player he forgot to mark was Thierry Henry, and that routine free kick was converted into the goal that eliminated Brazil from the '06 world cup. He was later seen playing in Turkey and Russian club Anzhi Makakakakakakakala, which he managed later. Oh, and the club owner gave him a birthday present a couple of years ago. He woke up in a new Bugatti.

Who makes your list?